Should You Create a Birth Plan? A Real Talk Guide for Expecting Moms

Do You Really Need a Birth Plan? Let’s Talk About It.

Birth plans have a reputation for being rigid or idealistic, but the truth is—they don’t have to be. I’m not a die-hard birth plan advocate, but I am a believer in informed choices and preparation. The more you know about what could happen in labor and delivery, the more confident and in control you’ll feel, especially when things don’t go as expected.

So let’s call it what it is—a birth preferences guide—something flexible, empowering, and realistic.

Start with Education, Not Expectations

If you’re making a birth plan just to stick it on your hospital room door, let’s pause. The true value of a birth plan is in the research, reflection, and communication it invites.

Use it to:

• Learn about your options

• Clarify your preferences

• Start conversations with your provider and support team

Whether you’re planning a medicated birth, an epidural-free experience, or aren’t sure yet, knowing what’s available gives you a better sense of control when you’re in the moment.

What to Include in Your Birth Preferences

Think of your plan as a guide, not a guarantee. It’s okay to want certain things and to be open to change. Here are a few areas you might want to explore:

• Environment. Would you prefer dim lighting, soft music, or quiet?

• Mobility. Do you want to move around freely during labor or use the shower?

• Pain Relief. Are you open to pain meds or planning on natural comfort measures first?

• Interventions. What are your thoughts on induction, episiotomy, or assisted delivery?

• Monitoring. Do you want intermittent or continuous fetal monitoring?

• Delivery Preferences. Pushing positions, mirror to view birth, delayed cord clamping?

• After Birth. Immediate skin-to-skin, breastfeeding initiation, and newborn procedures

Pro tip: Print a copy for your support person and bring it in your hospital bag, but also talk through your wishes with your provider in advance.

Flexibility Is the Most Important Thing to Pack

A healthy, safe delivery always comes first. Birth can take unexpected turns, and your ability to stay calm, trust your team, and shift course is powerful.

Here’s the mindset I always encourage: Be informed. Be flexible. Be your own advocate.

If something changes, it’s not a failure—it’s a response to what you and your baby need most.

Include Your Partner or Support Person

Your partner (or whoever’s supporting you in labor) can remarkably advocate for your wishes—if they know what they are.

Have them read your birth preferences and talk through different scenarios:

• What if the birth is faster or slower than expected?

• What if you change your mind about medication?

• What if your baby needs immediate medical attention?

The more they know ahead of time, the more helpful and calm they’ll be when you need them most.

Use the Hospital Stay to Your Advantage

Whether you’ve just given birth or you're still in labor, the hospital is full of resources you can lean into:

• Ask your postpartum nurse for help with breastfeeding and baby care

• Take advantage of lactation consultants on-site

• Request rest when possible; let the staff assist you with diaper changes or feedings

• Write down questions for your doctor or nurse as they come up

And don’t forget—this is a special moment. Snap some photos, soak in the cuddles, and permit yourself to rest.

Empowered Birth Isn’t About Control

At the end of the day, a birth plan isn’t a checklist to follow—it’s a way to reflect, communicate, and step into labor feeling supported.

Give yourself space to change your mind. Ask questions. Speak up. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe.

Your birth experience may look different than expected, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful, empowering, and yours.